Hicktastic

One thing I took away from the Dave Matthews concert, is that I am much closer to a redneck than a hippie. I went to a Rascal Flatts concert about a month ago, and it was freakin' awesome. If you can picture the monkeys-evolving-into-humans chart, I have a similar one. Hippies-evolving-into-rednecks. And I'm definitely closer to the redneck side than the hippie one.

I'm still a liberal. I'm very liberal. I just don't think that hippies are liberals. I think hippies are useless. You can't have an ideology if you don't vote. Having some sort of vague hemp loving ideal doesn't make you political, it makes you an idiot.

Hippie 1: Dude, we should, like, have or own society?
Hippie 2: I'm so hungry.
Hippie 1: I know dude. But its like, we should have someone who makes food, you know? And someone who makes houses. And someone who makes clothes. And then we'd, like, share everything.
Hippie 1: Dude, that would be awesome!
Me: Um, its called an economy, morons.


Hippie 1: Dude, the war is like, messed up!
Hippie 2: Dude, I know, its 'cause of like, the Corporations!
Hippie 1: Yeah, the Corporations!
Hippie 2: We should stop the war! And the Corporations!
Me: That's a great idea, guys! How are we going to stop the war?
Hippie 1: We'll have, like, a concert!
Hippie 2: Yeah, we'll have Dave and Fish and all kinds of stuff!
Me: How will that help?
Hippie 1: 'Cause man! Like the Corporations! And Dave! Dude, that's the secret!
Hippie 2: And we'll have a drum circle!
Hippie 1: And someone well sell hemp bags!
Hippie 2: And we'll take down the Corporations with music and love!
Hippie 1: And hemp and fish tacos!
Hippie 2: Yeah, fish tacos!
Me: God, I hate you guys.


So in the end, I'm almost a redneck because I hate hippies. And because Rascal Flatts are better than Dave Matthews. And because Southern girls look pretty in whatever they wear, while hippie girls make their own clothes and don't wash their hair. And because rednecks have jobs, while hippies do absolutely nothing. Please kill yourself, hippies, because you are not at all helpful.

I am embracing my Hicktasticness.