We find Bin Laden (just track his Just For Men beard dye packages) and then, for his punishment, we stick him in an airport bathroom with Larry Craig. For all eternity.
Larry: He's a bad boy, that Osama Bin Laden. You're a naughty boy! The American people already know that Bin Laden is a bad boy, a naughty boy. In fact, Osama is a nasty, bad, naughty boy!
Osama: Don't put that......there!!!!!!! (Lots of screaming, animal noises, Osama eventually giving in to the passion he knows is wrong but feels so right). Oh Larry, thank you for that!
Larry: I told you I have a wide stance.
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