Just a Reminder

There have been 4,056 US troop fatalities in Iraq. And 29,829 (official) wounded US soldiers from the Iraq war.

Of course, Barack Obama may or may not wear a flag pin enough and Miley Cyrus took some "provacative" pictures, and both of those stories seem to be more important.

Just a little reminder though. This election isn't about flag pins and fake moral outrage, or at least it shouldn't be.

4,056 dead soldiers. 29,829 wounded. These are the numbers that matter.

Don't Call Us Rednecks

Here's Representative Sue Myrick of North Carolina's 9th District took time to praise WWE Wrestler Ric Flair. Sue Myrick represents Charlotte/Gastonia which is WAY more redneck than our fair district, the 8th which covers Charlotte/Concord. Rock on, Sue!



WHOOO!!!!!

That One Time, In Estonia

Apparently, Hillary Clinton loves that Drank! While traveling with John McCain in Estonia, HRC decided to hold a vodka drinking contest. The story is from the New York Times in 2006, when the Times may or may not have been making a bunch of stuff up. But since the article wasn't written by Jayson Blair, it may actually be true.

So that's why HRC always compliments McCain and bashes Obama. McCain passes the Commander-in-Chief threshold, McCain has enough experience, McCain can throw back some Stoli and take Hil's breath away. Or something like that.

Maybe on that cold night in Estonia, as the vodka melted their icy hearts and lessened their inhibitions, Hillary and McCain shared something special. Maybe John McCain found someone with all the qualities he looks for; cold, soulless, and white, you know, a female version of himself.

The Clinton advisor that was asked about the story actually said "What happens in Estonia stays in Estonia". Well played, McCain, well played.

CMT Awards

The Party is killing itself, but hey, the Country Music Television Awards were this weekend. So let's take a few minutes break from duck hunting with Hil Dawg, and remember the good things about rednecks, namely superior music. Time for the Good, the Bad and the Awkward.

The Good

Rascal Flatts. First, they're a great band. Second, I'm better looking then the lead singer. Third, one of them impregnated a Playboy bunny, and when you add Country Singer and Had Sex With a Playboy Bunny, they build a shrine to you in Concord, North Carolina.



Next, Taylor Swift. First, because she won Video of the Year. Second, because she had fire going off in the background and, like Hil Dawg, we likes when things get blowed up. But most importantly, because the odds of Taylor Swift becoming a huge, skanky embarrasment are roughly 10,000 to 1. Please Taylor, don't turn into Leann Rimes.



Also, on the Good side, is Toby Keith. Sure, Toby Keith is a crazy redneck, but he is such a crazy redneck that its no longer offensive. Maybe the Dixie Chicks hold a grudge, but we can't. Plus, he performed "She's a Hottie."

The lyrics to "She's a Hottie" include these gems....

Dress her up boys, I took her from the farm,
I brought her downtown, I hung her on my arm,
you've got to give a little somethin' to a cool dark cat,
finding him a woman who could walk like that!
She's a Hottie !!! She's a Hottie !!! She's got a smokin' little body !
String bikini and a barbed-wire tat (tatoo)
She's rockin' that cowboy hat !
Hottie !!! She's a Hottie !!! and just a little bit naughty !
Kayay digidigy, Kayay digidigy, yey
Singing Kayay digidigy, Kayay digidigy
yey hey HEY hey HEY

Holy crap on a stick, Toby. Kayay digidigy, indeed! Also, whenever Toby sings a song, it looks like he's ready to take a dump. And that's worth something.



Next, Kellie Pickler. Why? Because she won a bunch of awards and she's from Albemarle, North Carolina. Just don't type in "Kellie Pickler prom dress" into a search engine or you may catch a disease. We won't hold that against her though, because she's from Albemarle.



Also, Kenny Chesney did well. Chesney has the best/worst lyrics. Listen to "You Save Me" more than once, and try not to sing it loudly. When we stumble out of Stool Pigeons tonight after doing eighteen straight shots of Jack with Hil Dawg, we will loudly sing

'Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun
'Cause when I'm a firecracker comin' undone
Or when I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild-eyed and crazy
No matter where my reckless soul takes me
Baby you save me

Plus, although we're not gay, we could be gay for Kenny Chesney. Just kidding, future employers! Qwars are not cool!



Finally, the World's Sexiest Vegetarian had a great performance.




The Bad

Leann Rimes. Put some clothes on, you look like a hooker.

Also, Miley Cyrus is a horrible singer. Someone needs to teach her how to lip synch or blood will pour from the ears of millions. It doesn't help that your dad can actually sing. Please don't sing live, ever again. And please don't turn into a skanky embarrassment.

The Awkward

Besides Snoop Dogg? How about Tom Arnold, who hosts the Greatest Show Ever/Proof of the Decline of Western Civilization, My Big Redneck Wedding. Tom may have PTSS from being married to Roseanne. He sure does talk about it a lot.

Finally, this was awkward.

So you know

Snopp Dogg was at the CMT Music Awards this past weekend. Yes, that Snoop Dogg.

Here's Snoop with Jason Aldean. Overall, this is probably a good thing. But in order to digest this, we're doing Jager Bombs with HRC, then smoking some of that chronic with Snoop.



On second thought, make that a double.

Drankin'

with Hil Dawg. Drankin' that Crown Rizzoyal and chasing it with an O.E. HRC also smokes Marlboro Reds and crushes beer cans on her forhead.

Rock on, Hil Dawg! We're sure you are COMPLETELY genuine. Someone get the beer bong! Hil is TORE UP, SON!

Also, Jon Stewart on HRC boozing and elitism here.

Oy vey

Representative Geoff Davis, R, Kentucky, is a racist moron. He participated in a national security simiulation with Barack Obama. Quoting Davis "I'm going to tell you something: That boy's finger does not need to be on the button".

Ugh. Really? On the long list of racial slurs, "boy" has to be the most condescending and ignorant.

Thankfully, Davis has already sent Obama a letter of apology. So he realized he messed up and shouldn't be crushed over this. There's no telling how many cringe worthy moments will occur in this election. At least when Davis said something stupid he apologized. That's probably a decent start.

As We Eat Each Other

in this never ending Primary of Death, it is good to remember who we're trying to replace. The good folks in San Francisco haven't forgotten. Click the link for the best idea EVER.

The Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is looking to "honor" President Bush. The group wants to rename the Oceanside Wastewater Treatment facility the "George W Bush Sewage Plant." The group wants to give Bush an honor that is "appropriate and enduring legacy, for no other president in modern American history has accomplished so much in such a short time."

Of course, George doesn't know how to clean up his own mess, but this is perfect.