Can we calm down about gay people, please?

Gay people are very different from straight people. For example, a gay guy likes other guys while a straight guy likes girls. Don't know if anyone's broken it down like that, but I'm here to help. Its not a big deal. Some guys like blondes, some like brunettes, some like other dudes. Some guys like passive housewifes, some like lawyers, some like, you know, penises. Thats it.

I'm not a big fan of having sex with other guys, so I don't do it. And believe it or not, there aren't two gay guys having sex on my front porch right now. If I go to a park later, there won't be a bunch of guys making sweet man-love in front of the children. Its really not a big deal.

If gay guys want to get married, let them. If you have a problem with this, you're an ahole for two reasons: One, you think gay people don't deserve the same rights, and Two, you think someone else's marriage has anything to do with you. Grow up and calm down. Freak out about something else, please. The Chinese are posioning our children! Dora the Explorer has lead paint! The only thing a gay dude will teach your kid is how to dress better.

I'm so sick of the nonsense we're perpetuating. I can't believe that at the end of 2007, gay people are second class citizens. Why? Can someone please explain this to me? Why aren't they allowed to get married?

Marriage, if you didn't realize it, isn't about reproduction. Its supposed to be about love. There was a couple at church that had just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. I'm pretty sure they can't make a child at this point. Should they be forced to get a divorce? Of course not.

Another thing, gay people can get married in one state. Do you know how absurd this is? I'll explain how absurd it is. First, its not like gay guys have sex in front of the Boston magistrates in order to prove that they are, in fact, gay. Which means that Hunter and I can go to Massahucets and get married. For jokes. And it wouldn't count in any other state. (We have talked about doing this while we were drunk. It is, at the very least, an amusing idea).

They're just people. Calm down. Let them have the same rights. If you think God has a problem with gay people, let God deal with it. God didn't seem to have a problem with his Son not reproducing, which seems to be the big hangup for these people. If you think gay people are going to Hell, um, don't have sex with another guy, and you won't go to Hell.

By the way, in addition to the whole "not laying with another man" thing, you're also not allowed to eat pork. So don't get mad at someone because they like sausage when you eat sausage too, hypocrite!