There is a very angry middle aged woman from Conneticut who is in my terrorism class. "Bush is the worst president in history!" Um, the first ten or so allowed slavery, genocide against the Native Americans and stole half of Mexico, so they have to be worse. "Israel is the worst persecuter!" If you can't admit that the situation in Palestine is complicated, um, you might be from Conneticut. "The United States did horrible things A, B, C, D....." I know, I know, but come on. How is this line of thought helpful?
But then, Conneticut woman had to talk crap about North Carolina. Don't talk crap about my state. Especially when there's not a valid complaint. "North Carolina's racist!" I'm pretty sure the only city Martin Luther King got chased out of was Chicago. "We don't get it!" Its true, we don't understand what you're saying. Because you're an irrational conspiracy theorist who thinks we're to blame for all the problems in the world, which is kind of like thinking your boyfriend left you at prom because HE did everything wrong, ignoring that you are in fact, insane.
So feel free to leave my fair state. I'm sorry that all 8 million people in North Carolina are all backwards, especially all the people who have moved here from other parts of the country. Lets do a fun little comparison:
North Carolina has:
A good climate, where we don't get buried under eight feet of snow.
A good economy. Would you rather look for a job in Detroit, Cleveland, Syracuse or Charlotte?
We have beaches and mountains.
We even have irrational hippies that think that Bush is the Devil and 9/11 was really a conspiracy. We keep hippies in Chapel Hill and Asheville, and we tolerate them, even though they are annoying. Which makes us.........tolerant.
We have a Division II football team that beats Michigan. We have five Division I football teams that get beat by everyone. There's something there.
Conneticut has:
A really good women's college basketball team.
Annoying hippies.
Townships? Maybe?
Maple syrup?
Joe Biden?
In conclusion, if you're a hippie, be a friendly hippie, not an angry hippie. And don't talk crap about my state. Especially when you moved her.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Fun Conversation From Terrorism Class #3
So here's the scenario from Tuesday night. Its about our old friend Bin Laden.
In the beginning of our Global War on Terror/Struggle Against Extremism/Long War, we started off by saying we were going to kill Osama Bin Laden. I was cool with that. If you're going to kill civilians, then you're not playing by the rules, and you have to go. For years there were constant updates, Bin Laden's in this cave or that, we shot at him, etc.
And then, Bush just kind of stopped talking about him. I thought it was because he launched an inept, horrible war in Iraq, and that quagmire was too much of a distraction. Dr. Combs has her own theory. And when I say its her own theory, its also been written up in numerous, public government reports.
It boils down to this:
If Bin Laden is captured, we can't try him. No one else will try him. Pakistan will blow up if they try him. If we take him to Kansas, the world will hate us more. (How much more can they hate us? Well, somehow my mother does more and more retarded things. I often think, how many more retarded things can my mother do, but she always suprises me). In the end, we can't arrest him and try him.
If we kill Bin Laden, um, people get kind of mad. Once again, how much angrier can they get? Well, how much dumber can my mother get? At least at a theoretical level, there is a higher level of anger/stupidity. Bin Laden's people also don't want him killed, because there would be a power struggle. Its kind of like the mob. Bin Laden goes, and his two or three deputies have to fight it out.
So the theory goes that if Bin Laden is killed...............wait for it...........no one will say a thing. Bush won't say anything, because it will further inflame people. Bin Laden's people won't say anything, because there would have to be a power struggle. So Bin Laden could actually be dead, and if dead, its in the best interest of everyone involved not to say anything.
Now that is some crazy Tony Soprano mafia stuff.
In forty years or so, some declassified file will be released and we'll find out the truth. Of course by then, we'll all be dead from global warming or............BIRD FLU!!!!!!!
In the beginning of our Global War on Terror/Struggle Against Extremism/Long War, we started off by saying we were going to kill Osama Bin Laden. I was cool with that. If you're going to kill civilians, then you're not playing by the rules, and you have to go. For years there were constant updates, Bin Laden's in this cave or that, we shot at him, etc.
And then, Bush just kind of stopped talking about him. I thought it was because he launched an inept, horrible war in Iraq, and that quagmire was too much of a distraction. Dr. Combs has her own theory. And when I say its her own theory, its also been written up in numerous, public government reports.
It boils down to this:
If Bin Laden is captured, we can't try him. No one else will try him. Pakistan will blow up if they try him. If we take him to Kansas, the world will hate us more. (How much more can they hate us? Well, somehow my mother does more and more retarded things. I often think, how many more retarded things can my mother do, but she always suprises me). In the end, we can't arrest him and try him.
If we kill Bin Laden, um, people get kind of mad. Once again, how much angrier can they get? Well, how much dumber can my mother get? At least at a theoretical level, there is a higher level of anger/stupidity. Bin Laden's people also don't want him killed, because there would be a power struggle. Its kind of like the mob. Bin Laden goes, and his two or three deputies have to fight it out.
So the theory goes that if Bin Laden is killed...............wait for it...........no one will say a thing. Bush won't say anything, because it will further inflame people. Bin Laden's people won't say anything, because there would have to be a power struggle. So Bin Laden could actually be dead, and if dead, its in the best interest of everyone involved not to say anything.
Now that is some crazy Tony Soprano mafia stuff.
In forty years or so, some declassified file will be released and we'll find out the truth. Of course by then, we'll all be dead from global warming or............BIRD FLU!!!!!!!
Fun Conversation From Terrorism Class #2
Fun facts about Hurricane Katrina.
Apparently, one of the reasons that all those people were stuck on roofs for days is because of federalism. Not the federal government, but federalism. In order for the federal government, i.e. FEMA, to come in, the LOCAL government has to ask for help. If the LOCAL government doesn't ask for help, the feds can't come in. Technically, the Federal government can declare a state of emergency, but over two hundred years, the Federal government has never actually done that.
FEMA told the local government in New Orleans that they had to ask for help 72 hours before the hurricane hit. And the well run government of New Orleans not only did not ask for help, it did not announce its evacuation plan until 36 hours before the hurricane hit. "Hey guys, you've got a day and a half, lets evacuate hundreds of thousands of people! It will work!"
And there were weeks before a state of emergency was declared. There are transcripts with the people from FEMA calling the government in New Orleans, begging them to allow FEMA in. And the local government did nothing.
Bush is to blame for a lot of things. But he can't be held responsible because Mayor Nagen is a moron who lacks the moral courage to ask for help under dire circumstances.
There's a reason that Florida gets hit by hurricanes every year, but people don't get stranded on roofs. All politics may not be local, but a lot of screwups are.
Apparently, one of the reasons that all those people were stuck on roofs for days is because of federalism. Not the federal government, but federalism. In order for the federal government, i.e. FEMA, to come in, the LOCAL government has to ask for help. If the LOCAL government doesn't ask for help, the feds can't come in. Technically, the Federal government can declare a state of emergency, but over two hundred years, the Federal government has never actually done that.
FEMA told the local government in New Orleans that they had to ask for help 72 hours before the hurricane hit. And the well run government of New Orleans not only did not ask for help, it did not announce its evacuation plan until 36 hours before the hurricane hit. "Hey guys, you've got a day and a half, lets evacuate hundreds of thousands of people! It will work!"
And there were weeks before a state of emergency was declared. There are transcripts with the people from FEMA calling the government in New Orleans, begging them to allow FEMA in. And the local government did nothing.
Bush is to blame for a lot of things. But he can't be held responsible because Mayor Nagen is a moron who lacks the moral courage to ask for help under dire circumstances.
There's a reason that Florida gets hit by hurricanes every year, but people don't get stranded on roofs. All politics may not be local, but a lot of screwups are.
Fun Conversation From Terrorism Class #1
I'm taking "Fighting Terrorism" for my MPA. Why? Because I wanted to take something easy. I have suffered through budgeting, human resources, multiple statistics classes, and I just want to take something easy. Anyway, here's the first fun thing I learned from Dr. Combs:
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE FROM BIRD FLU! AHHHHHHHHHH!
Apparently we're all going to die from avian flu. Kind of like we were supposed to die from SARS and other made up things. If ten people in Hong Kong die from something weird, its only a few weeks before it destroys are civilization.
I hope that God loves me enough not to let me die from something as lame sounding as bird flu. Lord, please kill me in the rioting that ensues after the collapse of our country because of the bird flu, not from the actual flu.
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE FROM BIRD FLU! AHHHHHHHHHH!
Apparently we're all going to die from avian flu. Kind of like we were supposed to die from SARS and other made up things. If ten people in Hong Kong die from something weird, its only a few weeks before it destroys are civilization.
I hope that God loves me enough not to let me die from something as lame sounding as bird flu. Lord, please kill me in the rioting that ensues after the collapse of our country because of the bird flu, not from the actual flu.
D.L. Hughley
I remember being ten or eleven, and watching TV late at night. Because I already had a degenerate brother who had already impregnated someone, I stayed away from the porn channels. But since I have mild insomnia (is that possible?) I would stay up and watch comedians. Chris Rock, George Carlin, D.L. Hughley. My liberal bias was shaped in part because of those men. Although my religious feelings, not so much shaped by George Carlin. Don't be so angry George, things really aren't that bad.
Anyway, D.L. Hughley is going to have another comedy special. They were showing clips from it, and this is my favorite so far:
D.L. in the awkward white guy voice: "Is America really ready for a black president?"
D.L. in indignant black guy voice: "After the mutha f----er we have now?"
Good stuff.
Anyway, D.L. Hughley is going to have another comedy special. They were showing clips from it, and this is my favorite so far:
D.L. in the awkward white guy voice: "Is America really ready for a black president?"
D.L. in indignant black guy voice: "After the mutha f----er we have now?"
Good stuff.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
My poor girl
I had to get the world's cutest cat, Chloe, spayed today. They're just now doing her procedure even though I took her in at 8 this morning. So my poor girl has been waiting alone for almost five hours. I should have sat with her but I had a meeting this morning with UFS. Well that won't happen again. I will sit outside in the lobby like the obsessive, irrational pet parent that I am.
I am becoming more and more aware of how protective I am. If I ever have kids, I suggest no one messes with them. I will run through people like Sherman ran through South Carolina. Make my son cry or tell my daughter she can't be whatever she wants to be, and I swear to God I will sack your city like Genghis Khan! Mess with my future hypothetical children and Hiroshima will look like a couple of sparklers at a Fourth of July party.
Do not mess with my children, human or animal, or I will crush you. I am capable of being Genghis Olson. Barbarians would do well to stay behind the wall.
I am becoming more and more aware of how protective I am. If I ever have kids, I suggest no one messes with them. I will run through people like Sherman ran through South Carolina. Make my son cry or tell my daughter she can't be whatever she wants to be, and I swear to God I will sack your city like Genghis Khan! Mess with my future hypothetical children and Hiroshima will look like a couple of sparklers at a Fourth of July party.
Do not mess with my children, human or animal, or I will crush you. I am capable of being Genghis Olson. Barbarians would do well to stay behind the wall.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Things that help my mood (Besides gay Idaho senators)
This is the college football edition of things that help my mood.
First, Florida State is getting beat by Clemson 24 to 3 in the third quarter. They have 82 total yards so far. Do I hate them because their offensive coordinator is named Jimbo? No, I'm from the South, not that part of the South, but still from the South. Do I hate them because they produced Chris Weinke? Um, yeah, that's part of it. But the main reason? Because they insist on putting a white guy in face paint, pretending to be a Native American.
Notre Dame got beat 30 to 3 by Georgia Tech.
Virginia gained 110 total yards against the powerhouse that is Wyoming. Maybe if your school wasn't founded by a slave owner.....(I'm more of a Hamilton than a Jefferson guy. Read Jefferson. He was insane. I promise. Read it.)
NC State, which is the finest agricultural school in Raleigh, was beaten 25 to 23 by the University of Central Florida. Who goes to NC State and why? I have never figured that one out, despite living in North Carolina for 10 years.
First, Florida State is getting beat by Clemson 24 to 3 in the third quarter. They have 82 total yards so far. Do I hate them because their offensive coordinator is named Jimbo? No, I'm from the South, not that part of the South, but still from the South. Do I hate them because they produced Chris Weinke? Um, yeah, that's part of it. But the main reason? Because they insist on putting a white guy in face paint, pretending to be a Native American.
Notre Dame got beat 30 to 3 by Georgia Tech.
Virginia gained 110 total yards against the powerhouse that is Wyoming. Maybe if your school wasn't founded by a slave owner.....(I'm more of a Hamilton than a Jefferson guy. Read Jefferson. He was insane. I promise. Read it.)
NC State, which is the finest agricultural school in Raleigh, was beaten 25 to 23 by the University of Central Florida. Who goes to NC State and why? I have never figured that one out, despite living in North Carolina for 10 years.
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