Monday, July 14, 2008

They Took Our Jobs!

It's time to invade Belgium! InBev, which is surely run by potheads and/or homos, has bought Anheuser-Busch makers of Budweiser. Now that the Belgians have our superior drinkability, all is lost. Its about time to surrender to our Dutch overlords and start building windmill houses. We're all going to have to wear wooden shoes.......

But wait! There's always Miller! That's a good American beer! And Coors Light too! The Rockies, man, the Rockies!

What? Miller Coors is owned by SABMiller? Miller and Coors were bought by South Africans? The same guys who own Miller make Grolsch, Peroni and Pilsner Urquel?

The room is spinning. Up is down, down is up. Isn't there an American beer made and owned by Americans? Yeah, these qwars. No, we can't do that! We can't drink Sam Adams. There's wheat and hops and flavor in there. There has to be a crap tastic, cheap beer still made in America.

Oh there is. Its Pabst! Mmm, PBR, Old Milwauke, Colt 45. These beers are impervious to foreign takeover. No self respecting Belgian mega-conglomerate is going to spend more than five dollars on acquiring Schlitz. Stay strong, America! They will leave our crappiest beers to us for ever!

Mmm, Schlitz Malt Liquor! Tastes like Freedom!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey There!

I am a Mom who just started a blog named, "The Uneducated Housewife's Guide to Politics." I'm not politically savvy and am trying to go through things on a level that everyone can understand and figure things out. I am a Christian and consider myself to be conservative (although... some people have told me that I'm not). Anyway, I am looking for people with differing views to participate in the comment section. I have two children that are of voting age and I don't want them just parroting what we've said without thinking things through for themselves and figuring out what is important to them for their reasons. I find it much more interesting to find out real people's views rather than read some generalized statement written by someone with the opposing view. Does that make sense?

Anyway, come check it out!