Spin Cycle Broken

The most obnoxious thing Bill Clinton has said, was when he said that of course Obama won South Carolina, 'cause, you know, "even Jesse Jackson won South Carolina." Set aside the fact that Jesse Jackson was a Civil Rights hero before he became something of a caricature, the blatant racism of Bill's comment was too much for me. The reason I won't vote for HRC? Because I honestly believe they're calling Barack a horrible word in private.

Unproven racial slurs aside, the Clintons do have an annoying habit of trying to spin everything. Bill Clinton, after all, is a man that asked for the definition of "is". As in, "is" she blowing me right now? No, so its not perjury. The Clinton's have been spinning every loss and even spinning non-victory's like Florida and Michigan where every Democrat agreed not to campaign.

Matthew Yglesias, over at The Atlantic Monthly, isn't impressed:

Back in October 2007, Clinton was beating Obama in Maine by a hilarious 47 to 10 margin, but it seems he's carried the state today, once again by a large margin. My understanding, though, is that this doesn't really count because it's a small state, much as Utah doesn't count because there aren't many Democrats there, DC doesn't count because there are too many black people, Washington doesn't count because it's a caucus, Illinois doesn't count because Obama represents it in the Senate even though Hillary was born there, Hawaii won't count because Obama was born there. I'm not sure why Delaware and Connecticut don't count, but they definitely don't.

Undervalued at only 45 Billion

Microsoft recently made a bid to buy Yahoo. The idea is for the old evil soul- crushing Internet firm (Microsoft) to buy Yahoo in order to take on the new evil soul-crushing Internet firm (Google). Microsoft offered 44.6 BILLION dollars to buy Yahoo, which is a 62 percent premium. Yahoo's shares are worth 20 dollars a piece, and Microsoft offered 31 dollars per share, which apparently isn't enough. Yahoo wants 40 dollars per share.


I have seen the future, and I now realize that I will die from an anuerysm.


In other news, someone offered me 40,000 dollars for my Taurus but I won't take it. I need at least 80,000 dollars for it.

Growing Up

I was listening to an interview with Charles Barkely today. They were discussing how Charles used to be angry, asking how he changed his attitude. This is what Charles said (paraphrasing):


"When I was younger, I used to be mad at everybody. I was mad at my high school, mad at my family, mad at everyone I thought was holding me back. And I used that to fuel me and to make me sucessful. But I realized I can't just go around being angry with everyone. I can use the past to fuel myself, but I can't be mad all the time, its not healthy.

Basically, I had to grow up."


Amen, Sir Charles, amen.

Huckabee is the White Snoop Dogg

I say this with all the love and respect possible.

Huckabee is the white version of Snoop. Why? Because they're both inappropriate but loveable, crazy but entertaining. Mike says insane stuff about replacing the Constitution with the Ten Commandments, but he doesn't come off as that threatening. Snoop says disgusting things but he's got such a smooth delivery that no one cares. Yes, you are Snoop D O double G and you are here to put this dick on us. Fair enough.

I wish there was a version of "I wanna love you" with Mike Huckabee instead of Akon.

I Heart Huckabee

I freakin' love this guy. I always have CNN or MSNBC on, but I always turn it up to hear the Huckster. He's great. He's not pretentious. He's just a regular, albiet slightly insane guy. He's so much fun to listen to. I always turn it up whenever Mike is on.

I think that if Huck went into the general election, it would be great. He can't possibly poll over thirty percent. He can't even get most Republicans to agree with him. But how awesome would it be to see him debate Obama on qwars and Dinosaurs.

Mike: You see, Barack, the whole world is only nine thousand years old. And God didn't want to kill all the Dinosaurs but somehow two qwar Pteridactyls got onto the Ark!

Barack: You know you're insane right?

Mike: Watch me play this here guitar! Sweet home Arkansasbama!


Huckabee is so much more entertaining then anyone else. He's like every crazy redneck I've ever met. You know they're insane, but you have to listen. Really Mike? You put an alligator in your pond? You think they're are black helicopters? You think ever Mexican is hiding a lead paint coated Chinese man in his truck?

I love this guy!

Inside the Implosion

Its prety amazing that the Republican party has gone to war with itself. If you look at the Democrats, you can see the difference. I personally think the differences between HRC and Barack are very large, but at least they aren't philosophically opposed to each other.

The Republicans, on the other hand........

You have John McCain who is a foreign policy conservative, possibly an economic conservative, possibly a social conservative. He has major legislation with fun names like McCain/Feingold, McCain/Kennedy and McCain/Lieberman. Lieberman aside, I can understand the frustration for Republicans to have someone who voted with Russ Feingold or Teddy Kennedy. Its the equivalant of HRC cosponsoring with Trent Lott. Or Barack cosponsoring with the Devil.

Then there's Huckabee. He's a social conservative (scured of qwars) but an economic and foreign policy liberal. He's criticized the War Criminal on foreign policy, and he's a tax raising, benefits providing fiscal liberal. This is a guy who's not nearly as Conservative as people want to make him out to be. He's a Baptist preacher and according to Zachary he's crazy, but that doesn't make him a Conservative. One out of three is 33%. That's a big, fat F for Mike.

Finally, the recently departed Mitt Romney. Mitt is a fiscal, foreign policy and social Conservative with a capital C. Apparently the Republicans didn't vote for him because he's a Mormon or because he doesn't look like he's insane.

The equivalent on the Democratic side would be if a black guy, a trade unionist and a Starbucks liberal shanked each other publicly. Of course Starbucks liberals don't agree with trade unionists, but its not like we're going to war with each other. But the Republicans are, which is beautiful.

Thank God politics is cyclical. I can't wait until 2028, when we implode!

And then there were four.....

With all apologies to Ron Paul and his blimp, there are now only four candidates: HRC, Obama, McCain and Mike Huckabee.

Clearly, I want Obama to win, but on the Republican side, I would love it if Huckabee would win. Or at the very least, Huckabee needs to land a few broadsides on John McCain. McCain is too liberal to be a Republican and too Conservative. I don't think this makes him a moderate, I think it makes him a man without a party. So please, Mike, hammer away.

The best thing about Mitt Romney dropping out, is that the two poor Republican candidates in the race. Romney could have minted money, but both McCain and Huckabee are broke. Contrast this with Barack Obama who is bringing in on average ONE MILLION DOLLARS EVERY DAY. HRC has her own war chest. I'm really not intimidated by these broke, marginalized Republicans.

So lets hope for Obama versus Huckabee. Obama will win every state but Arkansas. Huckabee can be their McGovern.