not to vote for John McCain.
“I'm afraid it's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq/Pakistan border,"
Good point, John. Also, McCain is worried about illegal immigration along the Canada/Mexico border and trade along the Spain/Germany border.
And foreign policy is supposed to be his strong suit? Que?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
They Took Our Jobs!
It's time to invade Belgium! InBev, which is surely run by potheads and/or homos, has bought Anheuser-Busch makers of Budweiser. Now that the Belgians have our superior drinkability, all is lost. Its about time to surrender to our Dutch overlords and start building windmill houses. We're all going to have to wear wooden shoes.......
But wait! There's always Miller! That's a good American beer! And Coors Light too! The Rockies, man, the Rockies!
What? Miller Coors is owned by SABMiller? Miller and Coors were bought by South Africans? The same guys who own Miller make Grolsch, Peroni and Pilsner Urquel?
The room is spinning. Up is down, down is up. Isn't there an American beer made and owned by Americans? Yeah, these qwars. No, we can't do that! We can't drink Sam Adams. There's wheat and hops and flavor in there. There has to be a crap tastic, cheap beer still made in America.
Oh there is. Its Pabst! Mmm, PBR, Old Milwauke, Colt 45. These beers are impervious to foreign takeover. No self respecting Belgian mega-conglomerate is going to spend more than five dollars on acquiring Schlitz. Stay strong, America! They will leave our crappiest beers to us for ever!
Mmm, Schlitz Malt Liquor! Tastes like Freedom!
But wait! There's always Miller! That's a good American beer! And Coors Light too! The Rockies, man, the Rockies!
What? Miller Coors is owned by SABMiller? Miller and Coors were bought by South Africans? The same guys who own Miller make Grolsch, Peroni and Pilsner Urquel?
The room is spinning. Up is down, down is up. Isn't there an American beer made and owned by Americans? Yeah, these qwars. No, we can't do that! We can't drink Sam Adams. There's wheat and hops and flavor in there. There has to be a crap tastic, cheap beer still made in America.
Oh there is. Its Pabst! Mmm, PBR, Old Milwauke, Colt 45. These beers are impervious to foreign takeover. No self respecting Belgian mega-conglomerate is going to spend more than five dollars on acquiring Schlitz. Stay strong, America! They will leave our crappiest beers to us for ever!
Mmm, Schlitz Malt Liquor! Tastes like Freedom!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Things that Drive Liberals Crazy Part 2
Joe Lieberman.
Typing that name is causing an involuntary twitch, but we will perservere. What could possibly drive us crazy about Joe Lieberman? Is it the giant failure of a race that he ran in 2000? No. Is it his endorsement of John McCain? No. Is it the fact that he endorsed John McCain after running for Vice President eight years ago? Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and in this clip, Joe claims that Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran want Obama to be President. Thanks Joe!
Typing that name is causing an involuntary twitch, but we will perservere. What could possibly drive us crazy about Joe Lieberman? Is it the giant failure of a race that he ran in 2000? No. Is it his endorsement of John McCain? No. Is it the fact that he endorsed John McCain after running for Vice President eight years ago? Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and in this clip, Joe claims that Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran want Obama to be President. Thanks Joe!
Things that Drive Liberals Crazy Part 1
The word "Democrat candidate".
As in:
We have the Republican candidate and the Democrat candidate.
Or:
The Republican Party stands for God and Country while the Democrat party stands for Homos and Satan.
If your ears bleed when you hear this, and your brain screams "Its DEMOCRATIC!" then you are a liberal partisan. We now have to track down some Republican strategist on CNN who won't call us by the proper name.
As in:
We have the Republican candidate and the Democrat candidate.
Or:
The Republican Party stands for God and Country while the Democrat party stands for Homos and Satan.
If your ears bleed when you hear this, and your brain screams "Its DEMOCRATIC!" then you are a liberal partisan. We now have to track down some Republican strategist on CNN who won't call us by the proper name.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
The Concession
She was very self congradulatory, which is a little odd, but she gave the necessary "Yes We Can" soundbite. Was it a gracious speech? Um, no. But HRC didn't talk about how she should have won, etc. She did what she needed to do.
Good riddance.
Good riddance.
Only 42 minutes late
Senator Clinton is supposed to give her concession speech to Senator Obama, and she just arrived. Nothing personal about being 42 minutes late. She surely isn't trying to upstage Senator Obama.
Still, it appears as though this nightmare is about to end.
Still, it appears as though this nightmare is about to end.
Heaven as an Amusement Park
This is from Andrew Sullivan's website. The link wasn't working, so there's no telling what nutjob came up with this. This is quite beautiful, though. (Click the picture for a larger image).
Personal favorites are the Throne of Mary, where the Catholics hang out, and the snack bar. Popcorn and funnel cake in Heaven? Count us in!
Personal favorites are the Throne of Mary, where the Catholics hang out, and the snack bar. Popcorn and funnel cake in Heaven? Count us in!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Rock on, Libertarians!
The third party that's not so green picked former Republican Representative Bob Barr to be its presidential candidate. Bob Barr, who has a wonderous mustache, is polling at 8 percent in Georgia. So if Bob Barr can steal some votes from McCain, and if there are black people in Atlanta....
Sorry, got off track. Here are some fun facts about Bob Barr;
He's a Board Member of the NRA (You know you want to vote for him, Republicans).
Barr thinks that "A completely open border allows foreign criminals, carriers of communicable diseases, terrorists and other potential threats to enter the country unchecked." Lou Dobbs would vote for Bob Barr. By the way, this is the cause of communicable diseases in the United States.
Bob Barr is afraid of the "Nanny State". We'll smoke some Marlboro Reds to that! Lung cancer is the most delicious type of Freedom.
So the choice is clear, Republicans! Vote for Bob Barr! Libertarianism isn't a simplistic, impractical worldview! Its Freedom-tastic!
Besides, its your turn. We already threw away an election to vote for Nader. Who knew the fat guy cared about the environment?
Anyway, vote Libertarian!
Sorry, got off track. Here are some fun facts about Bob Barr;
He's a Board Member of the NRA (You know you want to vote for him, Republicans).
Barr thinks that "A completely open border allows foreign criminals, carriers of communicable diseases, terrorists and other potential threats to enter the country unchecked." Lou Dobbs would vote for Bob Barr. By the way, this is the cause of communicable diseases in the United States.
Bob Barr is afraid of the "Nanny State". We'll smoke some Marlboro Reds to that! Lung cancer is the most delicious type of Freedom.
So the choice is clear, Republicans! Vote for Bob Barr! Libertarianism isn't a simplistic, impractical worldview! Its Freedom-tastic!
Besides, its your turn. We already threw away an election to vote for Nader. Who knew the fat guy cared about the environment?
Anyway, vote Libertarian!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Chris Matthews Eats Right Wing Host
Mmmmm.....tasty.
So the War Criminal violated Godwin's law and compared Barack Obama's desire for diplomacy to appeasing Hitler. Which makes sense if you're a complete moron. Anywho, talk show host Kevin James went on Hardball to defend the War Criminal and attack Obama. He said that Obama was an appeaser, etc. Problem is, Mr. James doesn't know what appeasement refers to. So he made a historical reference without actually understanding the historical context.
And Chris Matthews proceeds to rip him a new orifice.....
So the War Criminal violated Godwin's law and compared Barack Obama's desire for diplomacy to appeasing Hitler. Which makes sense if you're a complete moron. Anywho, talk show host Kevin James went on Hardball to defend the War Criminal and attack Obama. He said that Obama was an appeaser, etc. Problem is, Mr. James doesn't know what appeasement refers to. So he made a historical reference without actually understanding the historical context.
And Chris Matthews proceeds to rip him a new orifice.....
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Three Cheers for California!!!!!
California's Supreme Court has ruled in favor of marriage equality! In thirty days, gay people can get married in California. The country's most populous state has become the second state to legalize gay marriage. Somewhere, Pat Robertson's head just exploded.
Here's the money quote from the Court's decision:
In contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation, and, more generally, that an individual’s sexual orientation — like a person’s race or gender — does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights. We therefore conclude that in view of the substance and significance of the fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship, the California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples.
Here's the money quote from the Court's decision:
In contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation, and, more generally, that an individual’s sexual orientation — like a person’s race or gender — does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights. We therefore conclude that in view of the substance and significance of the fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship, the California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Reason No. 2
not to vote for John McCain.
Fun quotes from the John McCain 2008 website. Today's topic "Gun Control"!
John McCain opposes backdoor attempts to restrict Second Amendment rights by holding gun manufacturers liable for crimes committed by third parties using a firearm, and has voted to protect gun manufacturers from such inappropriate liability aimed at bankrupting the entire gun industry.
Its a good point. Why should someone be liable when their product kills people? If an individual kills someone, they're liable, but why should companies have to follow the same rules? Sure, everyday 80 people in the United States die from gun violence and Americans are 16 times more likely to be killed by a gun than in 25 other industrialized countries COMBINED, but people gots to make money! Thanks McCain!
John McCain opposes restrictions on so-called "assault rifles" and voted consistently against such bans. Most recently he opposed an amendment to extend a ban on 19 specific firearms, and others with similar characteristics.
Sorry John, but no one needs an assault rifle. Apparently, this is a bold position, but you don't need an Uzi or a Kalashnikov. And yes that is what the Brady Bill banned. By the way, an Uzi sub machine gun can fire 600 rounds per minute and there are Uzis that can fire up to 1700 rounds per minute. No one needs that.
John McCain believes that banning ammunition is just another way to undermine Second Amendment rights. He voted against an amendment that would have banned many of the most commonly used hunting cartridges on the spurious grounds that they were "armor-piercing."
Apparently John McCain needs to protect himself from deer. Never having been to Arizona, we'll have to assume that the deer wear bullet proof vests and/or drive tanks.
As part of John McCain's defense of Second Amendment rights, he cosponsored legislation to lift a ban on the law abiding citizens of the District of Columbia from exercising their Constitutional right to bear arms.
There were 40 gun related deaths in Washington DC in 2004. Those 40 gun related deaths were all children under the age of 19.
John McCain has opposed "waiting periods" for law abiding citizen's purchase of firearms.
Sometimes you've got to shoot someone, er hunt, NOW.
Finally, to switch things up, McCain says something that makes sense.
John McCain believes that every firearms owner has a responsibility to learn how to safely use and store the firearm they have chosen, whether for target shooting, hunting, or personal protection. He has supported legislation requiring gun manufacturers to include gun safety devices such as trigger locks in product packaging.
One can only imagine that Cheney thinks gun locks violates Free Market principles.
Fun quotes from the John McCain 2008 website. Today's topic "Gun Control"!
John McCain opposes backdoor attempts to restrict Second Amendment rights by holding gun manufacturers liable for crimes committed by third parties using a firearm, and has voted to protect gun manufacturers from such inappropriate liability aimed at bankrupting the entire gun industry.
Its a good point. Why should someone be liable when their product kills people? If an individual kills someone, they're liable, but why should companies have to follow the same rules? Sure, everyday 80 people in the United States die from gun violence and Americans are 16 times more likely to be killed by a gun than in 25 other industrialized countries COMBINED, but people gots to make money! Thanks McCain!
John McCain opposes restrictions on so-called "assault rifles" and voted consistently against such bans. Most recently he opposed an amendment to extend a ban on 19 specific firearms, and others with similar characteristics.
Sorry John, but no one needs an assault rifle. Apparently, this is a bold position, but you don't need an Uzi or a Kalashnikov. And yes that is what the Brady Bill banned. By the way, an Uzi sub machine gun can fire 600 rounds per minute and there are Uzis that can fire up to 1700 rounds per minute. No one needs that.
John McCain believes that banning ammunition is just another way to undermine Second Amendment rights. He voted against an amendment that would have banned many of the most commonly used hunting cartridges on the spurious grounds that they were "armor-piercing."
Apparently John McCain needs to protect himself from deer. Never having been to Arizona, we'll have to assume that the deer wear bullet proof vests and/or drive tanks.
As part of John McCain's defense of Second Amendment rights, he cosponsored legislation to lift a ban on the law abiding citizens of the District of Columbia from exercising their Constitutional right to bear arms.
There were 40 gun related deaths in Washington DC in 2004. Those 40 gun related deaths were all children under the age of 19.
John McCain has opposed "waiting periods" for law abiding citizen's purchase of firearms.
Sometimes you've got to shoot someone, er hunt, NOW.
Finally, to switch things up, McCain says something that makes sense.
John McCain believes that every firearms owner has a responsibility to learn how to safely use and store the firearm they have chosen, whether for target shooting, hunting, or personal protection. He has supported legislation requiring gun manufacturers to include gun safety devices such as trigger locks in product packaging.
One can only imagine that Cheney thinks gun locks violates Free Market principles.
John Edwards
endorsed Barack Obama today. Way to be ahead of the curve, John!
So, he could have endorsed a candidate months ago and had an impact in the race. He could have endorsed Obama before North Carolina. What is the point of endorsing him now?
Here are some other bold positions John Edwards has taken:
January 1866- Says slavery is "bad" and Lincoln was a "cool dude"
March 1922- Decides to ride on new fangled "Horseless Carriage"
May 1945- Stops referring to Jews as "Shylocks"
September 1955- Agrees to move away from the gold standard.
December 1972- Adds indoor plumbing and gas stove to mansion. Still unsure of electricity.
June 1998- Vows to look into the "Internets". Wants to buy personal computer but fears that binary code is witchcraft. How can zeros and ones equal letters?
April 2008- Buys iPod.
May 14th, 2008- Endorses the candidate who leads in total delegates, pledged delegates, popular vote, and super delegates. Also, drinks his first Starbucks latte. Wets himself when the espresso machine goes off, but regains composure and declares drink "delicious".
So, he could have endorsed a candidate months ago and had an impact in the race. He could have endorsed Obama before North Carolina. What is the point of endorsing him now?
Here are some other bold positions John Edwards has taken:
January 1866- Says slavery is "bad" and Lincoln was a "cool dude"
March 1922- Decides to ride on new fangled "Horseless Carriage"
May 1945- Stops referring to Jews as "Shylocks"
September 1955- Agrees to move away from the gold standard.
December 1972- Adds indoor plumbing and gas stove to mansion. Still unsure of electricity.
June 1998- Vows to look into the "Internets". Wants to buy personal computer but fears that binary code is witchcraft. How can zeros and ones equal letters?
April 2008- Buys iPod.
May 14th, 2008- Endorses the candidate who leads in total delegates, pledged delegates, popular vote, and super delegates. Also, drinks his first Starbucks latte. Wets himself when the espresso machine goes off, but regains composure and declares drink "delicious".
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Nuclear Energy Article
Discover magazine has a very compelling article about nuclear energy. The basic premise is that nuclear energy is safer, more efficient and less polluting than other forms of energy. The article also points out that solar, wind or energy produced from biomass (ethanol) are damaging to the environment because of the amount of land that needs to be used. For example, to provide our 2005 level energy demand solely with wind power, it would take 780,000 square kilometers, which is the size of Texas.
Nuclear power could provide our energy needs in a safe, environmentally friendly and efficient way. Of course, people are paranoid that there will be a nuclear accident, but the article addresses that as well. Basically, Chernobyl could never happen here, and the Three Mile Island accident never caused health problems for the people around the area. This is a much better record than coal, which releases particulates that cause 24,000 deaths a year.
Plus, with nuclear power, you get this.
Nuclear power could provide our energy needs in a safe, environmentally friendly and efficient way. Of course, people are paranoid that there will be a nuclear accident, but the article addresses that as well. Basically, Chernobyl could never happen here, and the Three Mile Island accident never caused health problems for the people around the area. This is a much better record than coal, which releases particulates that cause 24,000 deaths a year.
Plus, with nuclear power, you get this.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Myanmar Cyclone
Millions of people have been affected by a natural disaster in Myanmar. The U.N. estimates that 1.5 million people have been "severely affected". Aid is getting in at a slow pace, but hopefully it will help. If you have some extra cash, you can donate to either UNICEF or Direct Relief International by clicking here.
One more request. Can we call the country by its actual name? Can we stop calling it Burma? Its not Burma, its Myanmar. What is the deal with this odd colonialist nostalgia? Are we going to start calling Iran "Persia"? Are we going to call Mumbai "Bombay"? Are you going to insist on calling Uptown Charlotte "Downtown"? They've spent millions of dollars calling it Uptown, just accept it.
Um, got a little off track. Again, click here to donate.
One more request. Can we call the country by its actual name? Can we stop calling it Burma? Its not Burma, its Myanmar. What is the deal with this odd colonialist nostalgia? Are we going to start calling Iran "Persia"? Are we going to call Mumbai "Bombay"? Are you going to insist on calling Uptown Charlotte "Downtown"? They've spent millions of dollars calling it Uptown, just accept it.
Um, got a little off track. Again, click here to donate.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Reason No. 1
Not to vote for McCain.
"These judges show little regard for the President, the Congress or the states..." Thus saith Lunatic Man about activist judges. Um, we have an independent judiciary, John. Read the Constitution.
He doesn't know the difference between Sunni and Shia, but shouldn't understanding the makeup of the government be fundamental? Can McCain even spell Checks and Balances?
Given his propensity for gaffes, we'll have reason 10,000 not to vote for John McCain by November.
"These judges show little regard for the President, the Congress or the states..." Thus saith Lunatic Man about activist judges. Um, we have an independent judiciary, John. Read the Constitution.
He doesn't know the difference between Sunni and Shia, but shouldn't understanding the makeup of the government be fundamental? Can McCain even spell Checks and Balances?
Given his propensity for gaffes, we'll have reason 10,000 not to vote for John McCain by November.
It's Over
Obama wins by 14 points and 220,000 votes in North Carolina, loses by two points and 20,000 votes in Indiana. He's only 150 delegates away from winning the nomination. HRC is still 300 delegates away.
The contest can continue, but the results aren't in doubt. Obama is going to win the nomination.
Time to focus on McCain.
The contest can continue, but the results aren't in doubt. Obama is going to win the nomination.
Time to focus on McCain.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Hillary's Filly
Hillary Clinton wanted everyone to place bets on "Eight Belles" the only filly in the Kentucky Derby. Those evil male horses! Anyway, the whole thing is harmless enough. HRC wants the filly to win, its a great metaphor, the filly is a long shot, blah blah blah.
So what happened? Did the filly win? Did Eight Belles pull it off?
Um, no.
Eight Belles finished in second, then collapsed, broke her legs and was euthanized.
Oh, and who placed in first? Big Brown. Seriously.
Stop laughing, John. You're a bad man.
RIP HRC, er Eight Belles.
So what happened? Did the filly win? Did Eight Belles pull it off?
Um, no.
Eight Belles finished in second, then collapsed, broke her legs and was euthanized.
Oh, and who placed in first? Big Brown. Seriously.
Stop laughing, John. You're a bad man.
RIP HRC, er Eight Belles.
Friday, May 2, 2008
What if We had a President
who didn't ruin the economy or wage an unethical war? And a President who didn't treat gay Americans as second class citizens?
Is that really too much to ask?
Is that really too much to ask?
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